I would like to tell you a story, a true story, that I witnessed as a child on our small dairy farm in NY. It has to do with a cow that we called Betty. 'Betty the Bitch' is what I liked to call her. Never friendly, always difficult to feed and milk. Liked to slap you with her tail if you were not watching her. One morning I was off in the distance where my father couldn't see me, but I could see him and I knew very well what he was doing. Setting up the old style vacuum pump milker that strapped and hung around their belly. With Betty you had to hang it up high or she would simply kick it off. So he had it all laid out behind her making sure the strap was set up short,. When out of the corner of my eye, I see Betty arching her back up, spreading them back legs, Getting ready to release that warm, but rather smelly golden stream. My father had no idea what was about to happen because he was facing away from Betty and did not see her move. However, my stepmother and I seen the hole thing develop as Betty takes what looks to be a very deliberate aim towards my father. You see, when a Cow arches her back and spreads her back legs, she has positioned herself to release about five gallons, or more, of pee. Then all at once it happened, it came shooting out like the end of a fire hose, Within seconds creating a flooded area. Soaking anyone and everything behind them. Any one that is stupid enough to stand behind them and not paying attention is destined for a very rude and stinky 'Christening'. It happened so fast, and to watch my father run out of the barn, my stepmother and I could not hold in our laughter. Boisterously with tears in our eyes and very painful stomachs, we could not quit. Then my father got very pissed off, pardon the pun, because we were laughing. He decided to stay in his wet and smelly clothes as punishment to us by making us smell him through out the day. As luck would have it, it turned out to be a very hot and humid day which also added to the oder over taken by him, and my father had finally figured out that it would have been best if he had gone back in and showered, after it happened. The day finally came that we ate that old cow 'Old Betty My father couldn't have been any more pleased to stick a fork in the one that gave him his Christening. Swotted him atleast once a day with her tail, with very precise aim, and proved to him that he was not in charge, that it was her way or no way.