"most days are the same, if not all. a clinical cycle i viciously want to get used to. sometimes i embrace these - what is life if not the things that defines our days?. work, laugh, sleep, dread.on other days, days i can easily count on my fingers, i want change -winds of change. i want love, coffee, art, deep laughter and reflection. i want peace, serenity. i want all the good things under the sun.it is the curse of life to love and not be loved. to love life and not be loved by it. to love the swiftness of the wind, the bright city skies and yet be mellow and blue.i hate that i have resigned to this fate, to immerse myself, my thoughts, my being into words, musics. to live in the words of others and make them my own. i hate to relate to pain, to struggles, to loss. but what have i if not these voices from the waves.i want to create my own words and speak into existence, to live through them, to write experiences of my own shaped in love, in peace in acceptance. i want to write letters, to express, to expand. joy. just joy.i want a gramophone, play jazz over the coffee. to sit and to reflect, to hear words of musics that bring comfort, that make me smile. i want to write endlessly, to shape words into art, to share. rejuvenation, realisation, fulfilment, manifestation."i want to break the cycle, the curse. i want to love and be loved- to repeat just this.repetition.21.4.23umi🦋