Fading

a few unwanted words
meant more then pain itself
we were falling all together
thought talking might help
i guess i was wrong
it only made it worst
the tears finally came
and we both just burst
a couple days that were unbearable
thought - how could i go on
those few hours we hadn't spoke
seemed like way to long
just when i thought we were over
that we'd finally reached the end
we both thought it over
and we still were best of friends
you promised no more fading
i promised to put you as one
but as a week or two went past
the hiding from each other again begun
you don't tell me anything
all i ever hear are those three words
as though everything will be okay
as long as they are heard
i don't tell you either
fear it won't be kept safe
that something else will begin
and all the love will turn to hate
i want to know whats wrong
just tell me and prove yourself true
and i promise if there's anything i need
i will always turn to you
no more hiding anything
no more creating pain
always there for each other
to keep each other sane
always will i love you
i never want to see you fade
just as long as you promise
never to throw what we have away
not over some guy
or something you think is love
because together thats what we have
thats what our friendships' of
you were the one who was there before
the greatest friend in the world
i love you always and forever

always ~ your baby girl

~*)()(baby girl)()(*~

Untitled - Andre Lanskoy

Portrait Drawing by Doriana Popa, Ink on Paper, 8.3 x 11.7 in - Fine Art Original Artwork For Sale on Saatchi Art. drawing artwork

drawing artwork

My Everything (personal)

My tears of pain could not have justified my love for you.
What else am I supose to do?
All I can do is sit here and cry.
Write down my thoughts,
expressing all my feelings.
I wish I didn't have to though.....
I wish I could just shut it all out.
Block out everything,
turn my heart cold,
black.
Nothing in there.
Completly empty;
like a bottomless pit.
Everything empty;
but now.....
I have to deal with this.
How?
I don't know.
It ponders through my mind all the time.
Should I?
Shouldn't I?
Knowing me,
my decision will be bad.
That's always the outcome.....
no matter what.
I can feel my heart beating faster everytime I think about it.
Faster,
faster,
and faster!
I just want it all to stop.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
GO AWAY!
I don't want you here anymore!
You took over my mind.
I can't block you out.
Why?
That's my question.....
Why do you have this great power over me?
Why does it exsist?
Can't it just disapear?
No.....
that will never happen.
It's impossibile.
I can't explain it;
it's just too confusing to.
Can't you see what you are doing to me?
It hurts too much babe.....
You have caused me all this pain and torture.
It's all too much to bear.
I'm losing control over my life.
You control me now;
not me.
You are my keeper,
my owner,
my lover:
"I wish."
How long is this going to go on?
Weeks?
Months?
Years?
No,
I know the answer.....
forever.
I will always be yours.
You will always have the power over me;
for always and forever.
Even in death,
I will belong to you.
You are my everything.
Nobody can take that away from me.
I wish you would open your sparkling eyes and realize.....
realize my love;
love for you.
You always push it away.
Whenever I try to be there for you,
you block me out.
Making your heart cold,
black.
Completly empty.
You know I will always be there for you.
All I want to do is see you happy.
When you smile,
it makes me smile as well.
Just one look at you,
and my heart fills with joy.
I feel the butterflies in my stomach;
head pounding,
heart aching,
all for you.
I know time helps ease the pain,
but not for me.
I gave way too much fucking time.
All that time.....
and for what?
YOU!
It wasn't even worth it,
you didn't seem to care.
Now I can never have that time back.
So I sit here alone.
In the dark.
With the thoughts of you running through my mind.
It hurts too much.
This pain is not what I want.
I wish the pain could be over,
but it's not.
I don't think it ever will be.
So what do I do from here?
Honestly,
I don't really know.
I wish you would come up to me and say,
"I love you."
"I love you too hunni."
I wish to be free.
Free from your world,
and everything in it.
I don't think I could do that though.
So the days grow longer,
nights grow shorter;
while this pain runs through my body.
Why can't I move on?
Why can't I just say,
"Fuck you!"
because you mean so much to me.
I care too much for you.
I wish it all could be over.
I can't go on like this anymore.
So for now,
I'll see what the future holds.
David,
You know you will always be in my heart;
no matter what happens.
You were my first love.
Noone can take that away.
You are my everything.

*Dedicated to DBH

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