I am not what it seems

I am
not me

I am not what I seem to be

I am not what I look like
masked in the darkness
that only the tears can see
shimmering droplets of fear
breaking the barrier of myself

I am

wrecked
split
torn
embedded

I am a creature behind the pain
sensually smiling to everyone
screaming inside for what is not
as I die with every little breath
I take this life down with me

I am

horrid
masked
broken
terrified

I am hurting for help from others
yet I ask the wrong questions
pondering when I will be saved
yet awaiting the tock of the clock
that never seems to pass on by

I am

crimson
cut
severed
tainted

I am what I feel inside of me
killing off the presence of life
bearing down in the empty hole
realizing no heart was what I had
stone cold in the isolation of myself

I am

ignorant
pitiful
disgraceful
stupid

I am what I don't seem to be
so look at the out and not the in
for your eyes will fill with tears
as my body lay in the cold emptiness
knowing what I was, not who I am