Weakening Strength

I’m weak and tired,
shaky and damaged.
Why does strength make me
weak?
Why every time I stand strong
do I shake and inside,
turn meek?
Strength rips off my flesh
and tears my insides
so the timid, helpless child
can no longer hide—
No longer hide
the tears, the screams
the slashing, the gashing,
the moaning the pain,
the ashes, the crashes,
the rain, no gain.
Strength grabs me, it stabs me
and sets me afire;
it slaps me, it snaps me,
running me down
to the mud and the mire.
I walk proudly
as strength kills me from the
inside out.
I scream and shout
but my pain reaches not one ear
while I fall and shake,
cry and break;
yelling for something to save
me,
for strength to stop raping me
and killing me
with every breath I take.

Still Life - Constantin Blendea

Color Combinations
A systematic approach would work best and decided to study color combinations that are regarded as harmonies. These combinations are known to have pleasing or contrasting quality to them and consists of these groups: analogous, complementary, Split-Complementary& Side-complementary, and Triad. There are numerous other color groups but we chose these harmonies that were unique for our use.

There and back

It was the ride of a lifetime
That turned around so much
Here off to leave the place we slept
To fight the world and such

We left everything but the sky
In our hearts it stayed tight
By love it stood alone that time
To us it only felt right

The tire blew up before some time
The distance fell short that day
Under the stars’ night we thought that
We had not picked a way

Together we ran forever to stay
And to be with each other
Every city had a small town
All towns looked like another

The road kept us bumping around
Holding on for our love
The way got rough and hard and tough
Hardly with heads above

The road came to a stopping point
Waiting for life to live
Our place is here the time is now
To stop running from time

My Everything (personal)

My tears of pain could not have justified my love for you.
What else am I supose to do?
All I can do is sit here and cry.
Write down my thoughts,
expressing all my feelings.
I wish I didn't have to though.....
I wish I could just shut it all out.
Block out everything,
turn my heart cold,
black.
Nothing in there.
Completly empty;
like a bottomless pit.
Everything empty;
but now.....
I have to deal with this.
How?
I don't know.
It ponders through my mind all the time.
Should I?
Shouldn't I?
Knowing me,
my decision will be bad.
That's always the outcome.....
no matter what.
I can feel my heart beating faster everytime I think about it.
Faster,
faster,
and faster!
I just want it all to stop.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
GO AWAY!
I don't want you here anymore!
You took over my mind.
I can't block you out.
Why?
That's my question.....
Why do you have this great power over me?
Why does it exsist?
Can't it just disapear?
No.....
that will never happen.
It's impossibile.
I can't explain it;
it's just too confusing to.
Can't you see what you are doing to me?
It hurts too much babe.....
You have caused me all this pain and torture.
It's all too much to bear.
I'm losing control over my life.
You control me now;
not me.
You are my keeper,
my owner,
my lover:
"I wish."
How long is this going to go on?
Weeks?
Months?
Years?
No,
I know the answer.....
forever.
I will always be yours.
You will always have the power over me;
for always and forever.
Even in death,
I will belong to you.
You are my everything.
Nobody can take that away from me.
I wish you would open your sparkling eyes and realize.....
realize my love;
love for you.
You always push it away.
Whenever I try to be there for you,
you block me out.
Making your heart cold,
black.
Completly empty.
You know I will always be there for you.
All I want to do is see you happy.
When you smile,
it makes me smile as well.
Just one look at you,
and my heart fills with joy.
I feel the butterflies in my stomach;
head pounding,
heart aching,
all for you.
I know time helps ease the pain,
but not for me.
I gave way too much fucking time.
All that time.....
and for what?
YOU!
It wasn't even worth it,
you didn't seem to care.
Now I can never have that time back.
So I sit here alone.
In the dark.
With the thoughts of you running through my mind.
It hurts too much.
This pain is not what I want.
I wish the pain could be over,
but it's not.
I don't think it ever will be.
So what do I do from here?
Honestly,
I don't really know.
I wish you would come up to me and say,
"I love you."
"I love you too hunni."
I wish to be free.
Free from your world,
and everything in it.
I don't think I could do that though.
So the days grow longer,
nights grow shorter;
while this pain runs through my body.
Why can't I move on?
Why can't I just say,
"Fuck you!"
because you mean so much to me.
I care too much for you.
I wish it all could be over.
I can't go on like this anymore.
So for now,
I'll see what the future holds.
David,
You know you will always be in my heart;
no matter what happens.
You were my first love.
Noone can take that away.
You are my everything.

*Dedicated to DBH

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Join us Monday, December 2 for a unique celebration of Sam Gilliam that dives into works developed in the mid-1960s that disrupted established artistic norms and styles.

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