Individual concept of wabi sabi:

• Wabi is about recognizing beauty in humble simplicity. ~detach from the vanity of materialism so we can experience spiritual richness instead~
• Sabi is concerned with the passage of time, the way all things grow, age, and decay, and how it manifests itself beautifully in objects.

Together, these two create the philosopical approach-

Accept what is, stay in the present moment, and appreciate the simple, transient stages of life.

I am not what it seems

I am
not me

I am not what I seem to be

I am not what I look like
masked in the darkness
that only the tears can see
shimmering droplets of fear
breaking the barrier of myself

I am

wrecked
split
torn
embedded

I am a creature behind the pain
sensually smiling to everyone
screaming inside for what is not
as I die with every little breath
I take this life down with me

I am

horrid
masked
broken
terrified

I am hurting for help from others
yet I ask the wrong questions
pondering when I will be saved
yet awaiting the tock of the clock
that never seems to pass on by

I am

crimson
cut
severed
tainted

I am what I feel inside of me
killing off the presence of life
bearing down in the empty hole
realizing no heart was what I had
stone cold in the isolation of myself

I am

ignorant
pitiful
disgraceful
stupid

I am what I don't seem to be
so look at the out and not the in
for your eyes will fill with tears
as my body lay in the cold emptiness
knowing what I was, not who I am

Always Gone

Chest enclosed
heart about to explode
please don't leave again
you've already left
I know it's not the way I think of it
but I can't help but think of it that way
I know you care about me
so why are you so far?

Why does my heart want you so
knowing you are too soon to leave
knowing I will be left with tears
and memories once lived now gone.
Through the darkness of it all
it was worth it
you are worth the pain of seeing you leave
because at least I got to see you

Why does my heart whisper
your name into the wind,
when all it does is travel the other way?
Why do you torture me so
with words of brilliance
only to be left behind
with the hands of time?

Just a Girl Crush?

Running away from the idea that you might just gave caught feelings for the same gender instead of labelling it as a passing 'girl crush' is a classic heteronormative narrative we, as females, have learned over the ages. Why shun the idea that we're not just fascinated by the object of our affections' specific traits but might just be wishing to ask her on a date?

Lincoln Center - Gene Davis

How To Create a Diversion

How to create a diversion

I lost and was amazed
Of how you tricked my foolish heart.
Deceit and then betrayal
You kissed and left me, in the dark.

But did you know, precocious thief,
That truth may alter you
For the wisdom of choice
Goes far too deep
Than clever words untrue.
The quest you took, my dear defeat,
Will question in the end
How vain a soul must
Pain repeat
And on its bliss depend.

I laughed and walked among
Your precious lanes with fiery sparks,
But I felt it all along-
You’d kiss and leave me, in the dark.

Visione Di San Giovanni - Domenico Fiasella

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Im sorry

im sorry for being me
i wish i had some other life
not being who i am
if i could i would
i would change everything
the drugs and cutting
the fights and drinking

all that hurts you seeing me
all you see in me is drugs
thats who runs my life
i have no say in it
because its true

i'll get help
when i think its time
i'll do it for you
i'll do it for my baby

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Some of the best books I have found are through recommendations. It’s either my bookworm friends or through podcasts of people I admire recommending a book that ends up on my shelf.

Although I refrain from pushing people to read books I have loved, but there are certain books that I can’t shut up about. They have helped me tremendously, and as my way of giving back to the authors, I have recommended some of these books over a hundred times.

My Everything (personal)

My tears of pain could not have justified my love for you.
What else am I supose to do?
All I can do is sit here and cry.
Write down my thoughts,
expressing all my feelings.
I wish I didn't have to though.....
I wish I could just shut it all out.
Block out everything,
turn my heart cold,
black.
Nothing in there.
Completly empty;
like a bottomless pit.
Everything empty;
but now.....
I have to deal with this.
How?
I don't know.
It ponders through my mind all the time.
Should I?
Shouldn't I?
Knowing me,
my decision will be bad.
That's always the outcome.....
no matter what.
I can feel my heart beating faster everytime I think about it.
Faster,
faster,
and faster!
I just want it all to stop.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
GO AWAY!
I don't want you here anymore!
You took over my mind.
I can't block you out.
Why?
That's my question.....
Why do you have this great power over me?
Why does it exsist?
Can't it just disapear?
No.....
that will never happen.
It's impossibile.
I can't explain it;
it's just too confusing to.
Can't you see what you are doing to me?
It hurts too much babe.....
You have caused me all this pain and torture.
It's all too much to bear.
I'm losing control over my life.
You control me now;
not me.
You are my keeper,
my owner,
my lover:
"I wish."
How long is this going to go on?
Weeks?
Months?
Years?
No,
I know the answer.....
forever.
I will always be yours.
You will always have the power over me;
for always and forever.
Even in death,
I will belong to you.
You are my everything.
Nobody can take that away from me.
I wish you would open your sparkling eyes and realize.....
realize my love;
love for you.
You always push it away.
Whenever I try to be there for you,
you block me out.
Making your heart cold,
black.
Completly empty.
You know I will always be there for you.
All I want to do is see you happy.
When you smile,
it makes me smile as well.
Just one look at you,
and my heart fills with joy.
I feel the butterflies in my stomach;
head pounding,
heart aching,
all for you.
I know time helps ease the pain,
but not for me.
I gave way too much fucking time.
All that time.....
and for what?
YOU!
It wasn't even worth it,
you didn't seem to care.
Now I can never have that time back.
So I sit here alone.
In the dark.
With the thoughts of you running through my mind.
It hurts too much.
This pain is not what I want.
I wish the pain could be over,
but it's not.
I don't think it ever will be.
So what do I do from here?
Honestly,
I don't really know.
I wish you would come up to me and say,
"I love you."
"I love you too hunni."
I wish to be free.
Free from your world,
and everything in it.
I don't think I could do that though.
So the days grow longer,
nights grow shorter;
while this pain runs through my body.
Why can't I move on?
Why can't I just say,
"Fuck you!"
because you mean so much to me.
I care too much for you.
I wish it all could be over.
I can't go on like this anymore.
So for now,
I'll see what the future holds.
David,
You know you will always be in my heart;
no matter what happens.
You were my first love.
Noone can take that away.
You are my everything.

*Dedicated to DBH

Today, tomorrow and yesterday - Jorge Castillo

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Why I Do It

Some things we do and we wonder why
We wish we could say why we did it
If you think about it you already know
You just don't want to admit it
You climb so high and wish to come down
When you're down you wish you were up
The worst feeling you could imagine
Wait till your down and you want back up
Pray to forget your life one more minute
It's all you need to get through the day
Kill yourself inside when you think
Wanting to be there all day
You're there and you wonder why
Why is this what you want
You're down and it kills you inside
And you realize it's all you want
Let me forget you, let me forget everything
I know its killing me, everything is
I hurt myself one way or the other
Right now, it doesn't matter what it is

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No One Knows

Nobody knows the pain
you feel...

Nobody knows the way
it hurts...

It leaves no scar
they can see...

Nobody knows how much
you wish it away...

And nobody know how
it just grows and grows...

And nobody knows what it is
that you know...

Cause nobody knows the pain
Inside.

"But the secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components.”